 
Okay, as we wrap up the final
chapter of the Bama Boys saga in the tales of Coconut and Eddie,
here’s a little background for you first time readers. A couple
years back, Coconut met a fella named Steve McKnot from Orange
Beach, AL. Mcknot and Coconut, over several Bushwhackers at the
legendary Flora-Bama bar, debated whose hometown had the best
fishing the Florida Keys or the Alabama Gulf Coast.
Subsequently, that debate spilled over to Steve and three of his
friends making a road trip to Islamorada for a little fishing, a
testing of the waters so to speak.
So, Coconut & Eddie loaded the boys onboard the WET WILLIE and
took them out for some bottom fishing. Coconut had bragged
about how great the grouper and mutton snapper fishery was in
the Keys and he wanted to show them first hand. Well, as
expected Captain C. put the Bama quartet on a bunch of fish,
with one caveat, no barbs on the hooks! Yes, Coconut personally
filed off all the barbs on the hooks. Now catching a fish,
especially a bottom fish without a barbed hook isn’t impossible,
however it does make it much tougher. Anyway, throughout the
day Steve had hooked more than a few real nice fish but had lost
them all. Steve’s futile efforts were hilarious to Coconut and
Eddie; they reveled in Steve’s dismay and temper tantrums.
Regardless of how much fun they were having at Steve’s expense,
Coconut finally decided to treat his friend to a real
conquest…ole´ Gus. Gus, an enormous jewfish Coconut had been
after since he was a kid would be Steve’s reward. Now Gus is
the size of a Volkswagen Beetle, probably pushing close to 1,000
pounds! Imagine trying to catch a fish that size? That
question is one that Coconut had been strategizing about for
years. So when he finally came to the decision to attempt the
landing he brought his best tackle, heavy duty stuff, 130 pound
world-class rod and reel combo. Coconut knew that if they were
lucky, they might have a chance
on the heavy tackle. Moreover, Eddie had been waiting for the
day they would go after ole´ Gus. The deckhand/first mate had
been keeping a lobster in a cage, much like a pet, feeding it
everyday just for this moment. This pet crawfish was a whopping
10 pounds! The big lobster would be the perfect bait for a
mighty fish like Gus. So the boys had a plan, a good one it
seemed, the only variable in the equation was Gus. Was he still
living, or had time finally caught up to the biggest member of
the grouper family? Well, as luck would have it, big Gus was
still alive, and was still calling the same wreck site off Fat
Deer Key home, so it was game on!
Moments after arrival, Steve dropped down the big lobster, and
out from his hole came Gus, hungry and on a mission. Good news
and bad news; Gus ate, Steve set the hook, and 30 minutes later,
Steve was yanked overboard by the gigantic grouper! Yes, yanked
overboard. In a horrifying freak accident, Steve lost his focus
and unknowingly released the drag pressure, thus allowing Gus to
swim briskly, essentially free as far as Gus was concerned.
Steve had been applying at least 40 pounds of drag pressure for
well over 20 minutes; thus if you can imagine pulling something
that weighed 40 pounds across the docks and then suddenly the
weight is gone… Gus was taking line off Steve’s reel at a
lightening pace, and that set the stage for the ugly thing that
happened next. Watching all this unfold from the bridge of the
boat, Captain Coconut yelled down to Steve to again engage the
fish, increase the drag pressure again, push the drag lever
forward. One big problem, in his hasty reaction, Steve slammed
the drag lever to its full maximum position, bypassing the
normal safe level of drag pressure. Steve’s frantic behavior
resulted in him re-engaging the fleeing fish with over 120
pounds of drag. Consequently, the sudden change was like
lassoing sitting in the stands at NASCAR event and lassoing Dale
Jr. as he comes off turn four. After all, Steve is completely
strapped to the tackle. With a harness similar to one people
use when the sky dive, Stevie was lock, cocked and on his way
wherever Gus wanted to drag him, there was no way he could
counter act the powerful surge of energy.
Anyway, Steve’s only hope as he was being drug underneath the
sea was to some how release himself from the harness, or have
the sense to release the drag pressure, back off that dreaded
drag lever. If he could do either of the two he might be able
to swim back to the surface. Swim back if he hadn’t already
swallowed five gallons of salt water. Well luckily for Steve,
Eddie and Dean responded by diving in almost immediately after
he was yanked from the cockpit of the boat. All of which brings
us to last week’s tale where Eddie described to Coconut what had
happened. It seems that Steve was able to release the drag
pressure, but was still unconscious. However, after Dean
quickly gave him mouth to mouth he spit out a bunch of water and
was again breathing on his own. That seemed to be a miracle,
but what happened next was probably more of wonderment.
Somehow, with all the chaos of the moment, Dean spotted a shark
out of the corner of his eye just as it was about to make the
boys into an entree´ and was able to grab the fishing rod from
Eddie’s hands and thrust the butt of the rod directly into the
shark’s eye socket with such force that the rod butt went all
the way to the shark’s brain, killing it instantly!
Eventually, Eddie, Dean and Steve made it back safely onboard
the boat. Steve was very weak, speechless, but conscious none
the less. All of which brings us to the last scene of last
week’s tale. Coconut had called the Coast Guard early on this
tragedy and they were on scene lifting Steve in a basket up to
the helicopter bay. Remember, at this point Steve was conscious
but unresponsive, or at least that seemed to be the case until
Coconut hollered up to his friend as he was lifted out of the
cockpit of the boat revealing his dirty little barb removal
prank. That is where we pick things up this week…
“Dude, did you see that? Did you see Steve? He gave you the…”
Eddie screamed.
Coconut joyfully interrupts,
“I
saw it! He thinks I’m #1!”
At
this point complete bedlam breaks out in the cockpit! Everyone
is cheering and shouting as the Coast Guardsman looks down and
gives the guys below the thumbs up sign. He too saw Steve’s
reaction to Coconut’s confession.
“I
can’t believe it! He flipped you off! He freaking flipped you
off!” Dean screams.
“I
saw it, I saw it, he did!” Shawn hollers out.
“Dude he’s going to be all right, he’s going to okay!”
“You’re right Eddie, that son of gun is harder than Chinese
arithmetic! He’s hard core!”
This jovial celebration continues long after the helicopter
speeds away. Beers are popping and high fives and flying! An
hour or so later Coconut has the boat heading down the channel
leading into the historic Key West seaport. They have decided
to forgo heading back to Islamorada to the marina, instead they
feel it makes more sense to go into Key West where Steve has
been admitted the hospital. They hospital is unable to release
specifics of Steve’s condition, but they say he is in the
intensive care unit. Meanwhile on the boat, Shawn and Dean have
talked their other buddy from Alabama, Mango into flying back
home to look in on Steve’s exotic car and boat dealership.
“Man do you really think it’s necessary, I really don’t feel
like flying back there tonight?”
“Bubba, you know what goes on around there…right?”
“Of course I do Dean, but dang it I don’t want to get in the
middle of it either.”
“Well, I’m sure he would appreciate it if somebody was there
looking out for him…”
After a brief moment of silence Mango agrees and goes inside the
boat to get his cell and make some flight arrangements. While
he does that, Coconut is on the bridge explaining to the rest of
the group the plans he has made.
“I’m going to dock over at the Conch Seafood Farm; Scotty’s got
me hooked up over there. Why don’t you guys go below and get
cleaned up so that you can get on over to the hospital. Eddie
and I gotta clean the boat and stuff, then we’ll get up with
over there or somewhere for dinner…cool?”
“Sounds good to me.” Shawn says, as he looks to Dean.
“I’m with you with brother, let’s get it done. I’m thinking we
ought to eat right at the farm, how bout you Coconut, you good
with that?”
“Perfect, sounds great.”
Dean and Shawn head down to get cleaned up, while Eddie heads
down to get the dock lines ready for tying up. About an hour
later, after getting all the dock lines in place, Eddie is up in
the tower soaping it up when he looks over to the parking lot
for the restaurant, and he can’t believe his eyes; it’s a guy
walking across that looks exactly like Steve. He thinks to
himself, no way, no freaking way is that Steve. But, with every
second that goes by the guy in the parking lot looks more and
more like Steve McKnot. It couldn’t be, could it? Well, a
couple minutes later the figure in the parking lot is now
walking directly down the docks toward the boat. This time
Eddie is positive, it’s Steve. He’s dressed in the same sweaty
ripped up “Roll Tide” t-shirt that he had on all morning. It is
Steve and he is smiling from ear to ear, he’s actually got a
bounce in his step. Steve doesn’t see Eddie up in the tower,
and a cat has Eddie’s tongue, he can’t say a word as Steve hops
on board the boat and makes his way to the salon door. With a
Krammer like entrance he flings the door open to everyone
inside’s shock.
“What’s a matter boys, you look like you just seen a ghost!”
Steve’s words couldn’t have been more accurate; Coconut, Dean,
Shawn and Mango are absolutely speechless. The air feels like
it has been sucked right out of the salon of the boat.
“What the…” Dean tries to say.
“Yeah…I’m back!” Steve says with a grin reminiscent of a kid
who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
At
this point Eddie has scurried down from the top of the tuna
tower and has joined everyone inside. Also, the questions start
flying, how, when, etc… Steve answers them all, as he reflects
back over the last few hours of his life. His memory is
surprisingly good considering the trauma he went through a few
short hours earlier. However he has one thought, or he what
thinks is a memory, regardless he’s got something he hopes to
get answered,
“Shawn I don’t know, I think I remember it all, or maybe not
all, but one thing that keeps popping up in my mind, a lot is,
being kissed by this big tall brunette. She was hot, a great
kisser… Ya’ll remember a big tall brunette coming to my
rescue…?”
“No. There weren’t no tall brunette, you’re just dreaming about
that…”
Mango interrupts,
“But what’s new Shawn the boy’s
been dreaming of a hot brunette his whole life. Shoot, for that
matter any hot girl in his life is a dream! Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!”
Mango comments bring loud
laughter to everyone, everyone but Dean, Dean seems to be
grimacing.
“What’s wrong Deano?”
Before he can answer a light goes
off in Eddie’s head. Eddie suddenly realizes why Dean isn’t
laughing like everyone else. Eddie believes that Dean thinks
the kiss Steve is referring to is the mouth to mouth
resuscitation he performed. The life saving air he blew into
Steve’s lungs. Regardless if his assumption was right or not
Eddie now burst out into laughter, gut wrenching laughter, the
kind that can drop a grown man to his knees.
At this point everyone is looking
at Eddie like he’s lost his mind, again everyone but Dean.
Somehow Dean knows why Eddie’s laughing…
Tune in next week as Captain
Spider Branchwood runs into the Bama Boys at the airport on
their way out of town. For regular readers of C & E, Captain
Spider is being Captain Spider…if you know what I mean!
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